


We've got holes in our hearts but we carry on

by lestibournes



Series: Did you see the sparks filled with hope? [8]
Category: Cosmere - Brandon Sanderson, Mistborn - Brandon Sanderson
Genre: Dealing With Loss, found family!!!!!!!!, kelsier mentioned, okay gang it's ham appreciation hour
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-03
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-03-14 15:35:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29173518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lestibournes/pseuds/lestibournes
Summary: Mare’s flower drawing made its way among the crew members.Part 3 of 8: from Kelsier to Vin(but we already see it on page with Kelsier's letter so this is actually more about Ham finding out Vin got the picture now)Set shortly after the collapse of the Final Empire
Series: Did you see the sparks filled with hope? [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1652455
Kudos: 7





	We've got holes in our hearts but we carry on

Vin never thought she could grow attached to a place. But for the past year, Clubs’ shop had been her sanctuary, her safe harbor, her  _ home _ . She sometimes spent more time in Renoux’s mansion, true, but all the years of living on the streets with Reen, Clubs’ shop was the first place that she actually felt like she belonged, felt  _ safe _ . Vin still couldn’t help but feel like she’d been betrayed.  _ Kelsier should’ve been here _ , she thought bitterly.  _ He said I could trust him, didn’t he? He promised…  _ And now since Elend was the newly crowned King, the crew had decided to move into Keep Venture. Vin loved Elend of course. And she did want to be close to him. She just wasn’t ready to say goodbye to the very first place she called home. 

Vin sat in front of the window, looking out. There was nothing but mist, but it soothed her, somehow. She watched the mist dance. It twirled, spinning round and round freely, and oh how Vin envied the mist—never feeling, never hurting. 

Someone knocked on Vin’s door, she ignored it. She wished to be left alone now, in her room, for as long as she could still call this place her home. But the knock came again, she sighed, and got up to unlock the door. Ham appeared at the door. 

“How’s the packing going?” Ham asked. 

“Fine.” Vin said.

“You didn’t even start, did you?” 

Vin shook her head. Ham just nodded.

“Can I talk to you, Vin?” Vin shrugged, but let Ham in. 

“It feels like just last week that we first met you and you moved into here with us.” Ham said, as Vin closed the door behind him and went back to sitting by the window. 

“And now Kelsier is dead and we’re moving.” Vin replied. She didn’t mean for the bitterness in her tone, but she couldn’t help it.

“Can you believe him, Ham? He  _ planned  _ for his death so he could be a martyr. He had this plan all along  _ without  _ even telling us, allowing us to come up with another plan for him. He demanded trust from us, but he never deserved it.” Vin felt her tears falling, she turned her face away from Ham, feeling ashamed for her tears. “How could he just die? How could he just leave me?” Vin frustratedly wiped away her tears, feeling like she was that little helpless girl again when Reen abandoned her. 

“I know your pain, child.” Vin gave no reply. “It hurts now and it will continue to hurt for a while, and maybe even for as long as you live.” Ham said softly. 

“But this is life, Vin. You will not stop hurting like the ash will not stop falling.”

Vin turned her tear-stained face to him. 

“Would it not? Kelsier always claimed it would.”

“He did say that, didn’t he?” Ham remembered fondly. “Then maybe it will. Kell almost always turned out to be right.”

Vin looked downward, annoyed with herself and her emotions. She was angry with Kelsier, and yet, she still believed in him. Not in the way the skaa believed in him, but believe nonetheless. Kelsier was not only their leader, he was family, they were—in every sense of the word—family. But now Kelsier was gone, leaving a hole in her heart and a broken family behind. 

“Ah, child. It hurts, yes, but you don’t have to deal with it alone.”

Vin seemed surprised with that idea, like she’d never considered it before.

“We lost him too, Vin. We are feeling your pain. And we are here for you.” Ham continued.

She didn’t reply, but she seemed to have stopped crying.

“Anyway,” Ham stood up. “You need help with packing, Vin?”

She nodded, wiping her face. “I don’t have much to pack though. I’m only taking some clothes and the logbook with me.” 

“Alright, you take care of the clothes, and I will see what I can do with the rest?” Vin nodded again, standing up and heading to her wardrobe. 

To start, Ham moved himself to Vin’s desk. It was messy, but Vin was right, there wasn’t much to pack, just some loose pages and papers here and there and—and Kelsier’s letter to Vin. He didn’t intend to read it, but he recognized Kelsier’s handwriting.

Ham stopped dead in his tracks.  _ Oh, Kell…  _ Ham had always considered himself a sentimental person, Breeze had laughed at him for that exact reason. He tried to comfort Vin, but in fact, he was too close to break down too. Even with all the pewter in the world, it wouldn’t give him the strength to stop the heartache, or ward off the pain.

Ham composed himself with all his might, reluctant to let Vin see his sorrow. He picked up the letter, putting it atop of other things, and saw what hid under it—a drawing of a flower.

Ham gently held it in his hands, like it was the most precious thing in the whole Final Empire. “So Kell gave this to you?” He asked Vin, gesturing the small fragile piece of paper. Vin nodded. 

Ham smiled broadly. How odd he could still do that. “I can’t think of anyone deserving it more.”

“You all know about the drawing?” Vin asked quietly. 

“Sure. Mare couldn’t stop talking about it. You know, it was hers?” Vin nodded again.

“What was she like?”

Ham reminisced, his smile big and contagious, making Vin want to smile too.

“She was… grand. Kell was just like her in that regard. Mare was probably the only person I knew that was just as stubborn as Kelsier. She fought fiercely. And she loved fiercely.”

“I wish I knew her.” Vin whispered. 

“Oh, she would absolutely love you, Vin. She used to complain there were too many men in the crew.” Ham laughed.

Vin smiled. It was a small, reserved smile. But it was already more than what Ham was able to get it out of her the first few weeks they met. He was proud of her. It was Ham’s utmost privilege and honor to witness how far she had come.

“You done with your part of packing?” Ham asked at last.

Vin nodded.

“Then your family awaits you in the kitchen, my lady.” Ham opened the door for her and motioned her to go. “I hope dinner is ready.” 

  
  
  



End file.
